Monday, March 29, 2010

The Travelers

The word “traveler” is a lonely word. It implies going it alone. I don’t like it. But “travelers” takes away a lot of the fear, adds new dimensions of shared experiences, shared pain, and shared joy. Shared, not alone.

Though the road was not any clearer at this point, I took great comfort in that after over a year of going it alone, now I had traveling companions. This made the trip a million times less scary on one hand, yet now failure meant disappointment for more than one person. If I was the tour guide, what if we all ended up somewhere none of us liked? What if reputations were lost? What if my traveling companions decided to bail out because they were beginning to see that this trip was too …..unplanned?

The Onlookers
Those standing on the side of the road looked on shaking their heads in bewilderment and they were intimidating. Some were in the business world and insisted we needed a business plan. None of us knew exactly what a business plan was and God had not chosen to give us one at that point. There was another problem. We all knew that this big dream could ONLY come about if God chose to help us greatly. In fact we all had a sinking feeling that God would have to DO it! None of us felt capable to do what was asked of us. We had no idea how any of it would be accomplished so there was no way we could write up a plan. That didn’t sit so well with some of the folks we looked to for counsel.

I remember an interview I had heard with Mother Theresa. She was asked how she accomplished so much. She sighed. “Sometimes I think God trusts me too much!” It was humorous at the time and I and the interviewer got a good chuckle as did the Mother herself. But now that we were telling a few people about our big dream, those on the sidelines out of love chose to speak up trying to save us from gross disappointment. I am certain they thought surely God couldn’t trust US THAT much!

Who Are You Going to Trust?
“Why don’t you begin with something a little smaller….like maybe a five week study. Just NOT 66 DVDs!!” “Where in the world do you think you will get the funding for such a huge project! “Even the BIG NAMES in Christiandom do not take on such huge projects!” “What do you know about production, videoing, lights, sound…and what about the huge legal aspects!” All were good questions. All brought on serious doubts as to whether we had heard God correctly. Although done out of love, all dumped a little rain on the parade. We could well relate to Mother Theresa’s comment. We wished God did not trust us so much….. because we didn’t trust ourselves! But we trusted the Lord and we were growing in our faith that He could do this!


Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

So What's the Plan

Have you ever wondered what Peter and Andrew thought when Jesus said “Follow Me?” I mean, don’t you think at some point they wondered “So what’s the plan? EXACTLY where are we going? Will I like it? Will it make me happy? Will I get paid and if so how much? And what about benefits? Health insurance? And I have a family. How many nights a week will I be on the road. Two? Five?”

You see there are so many questions that come to mind when we start down a new road. We want to know if we are going to be comfortable. Safe. Happy. But the problem with Jesus is that He doesn’t give any answers. He just says “Follow Me.” No map. No contract. No travel guide. Just follow.

A Prayer Team
My hands were literally shaking that day in December 2000 as I called first Julie Lord, then Gwen Lehmann, and Dorinda Hathaway. I knew them as true “praying women”, not those who SAY they will pray but you have a sneaky feeling that it ends there. But these women took prayer seriously and often came to the Throne of Grace with their petitions and most everyone else’s. They could be trusted, but they were also discerning. Would they think I was NUTS? Yet within a few minutes I had a prayer team. And not just any prayer team, but three women who were excited about the possibility of what God might do! I was astonished!

A Teaching Team
The next calls went to Eleanor Lewis, Margie Reuther, Linda Sweeney and Gerry Sisk. Would they be a teaching team for a video series that may or may not take place? Amazingly, each woman responded by saying they did not have to pray about it because this was an answer to their prayer! (Later Gerry would have to regretfully step down due to illness.)

At this point I began to see that maybe God was truly up to something. I was feeling less shaky and a little more confident, so the road lost a few more obstacles. With two phone calls fear was dispelled and in its place was…WOW!!...sisters who wanted to be a part of the journey! Now it didn’t matter what people would say because we were a team! We would stand or fall together! Now I was not traveling alone but had three fervent prayer warriors and four great teachers coming along with me. It felt less lonely, and though there was still no map, at least there were friends along for the ride and that made a huge difference!

Matthew 8:26
And Jesus said, “Why are you timid you men of little faith?

Monday, March 22, 2010

A Good Mechanic

When my car stalls I call our mechanic. He always asks questions to try to get to the heart of the matter. Did I flood the engine? Is there gas in the tank? Does the engine turn over? And usually he will diagnose the problem simply by asking the right questions. Right questions are a great help in diagnosing problems.

The right questions came from Bruce Wilkinson and it was those questions that got me back on the road. He met with me three times during those thirteen months and always at his request. The first time was to review leadership. His probing questions made me take a look at my life and my leadership in women’s ministry in a new way. In many ways it seemed like God HAD prepared me for this.

The second time he addressed my fear. I baulked. He was a competent, successful minister, author and business man. He couldn’t understand my inadequacies. I left frustrated and confused and angry.

The Right Questions
It was the third time that really made a difference and got me back on track. He asked me to name everything I was afraid of which I gladly did without any hesitation. I was well acquainted with them because I lived with them daily! And then he began to take those fears and hold them up to the light of Christ so their power diminished.

Just before I left that meeting he spoke such profound words that made all of the difference in the world to me. He explained that I would one day stand before the Lord and He would ask for an accounting of my life. When He asked about my obedience to step out in faith with the goal of reaching a million women with the Word of God in a DVD study, I would need to give an answer. He laid out three choices. I could pick one.

1. Lord, I knew what you wanted me to do, but I was so afraid I did nothing.
2. Lord, I knew what you wanted me to do, and I was very afraid but I did my best. But even with my best it failed.
3. Lord, I knew what you wanted me to do and so I gave it my best and now there are millions of women world wide who are learning for life about every book in God’s Word.

A Decision Made
I looked at my choices. I love the Lord with all of my heart. Because of that, choice one was not an option. That day I made a decision to move forward, to do my best and to leave the rest to the Lord. It was not an easy step. I had to lay aside all fears of my inadequacies, of failure and “what will people say” and focus on Christ. If I was to be humiliated, so be it. But behind that decision was a little light of hope. WHAT IF…….and millions were reached! It was a chance worth taking.


Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God
I will strengthen you,
Surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand..

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Great Barrier

In considering great barriers that crop up in the road from time to time, nothing can compare to fear. It has stopped great dreams from becoming realities, great adventures from getting off the ground, and above all great service to God from ever being accomplished. Fear is a prison. It paralyzes, sucks all joy and shatters dreams. Joshua knew all about fear as did David. In fact, I wonder if any one of the great Bible characters were ever free from it. I doubt it. But what made the difference was not that they were never fearful, but that they refused to let it hinder the direction God gave them.

After my encounter with Bruce Wilkinson that October day, fear rose up in me like a monster. I knew God had given me a direction, and a vision, though little of it was clear. But still I was overcome with the feeling that this vision was absolutely impossible, certainly impossible for ME to achieve! It took me thirteen months from the time Bruce gave me the not- so-gentle push until I actually made the phone call to the first prayer team person. The road during those thirteen months was rough, some of the roughest terrain I have ever been on because it was riddled with intense fear and confusion. I was afraid of three things.

The Fear Factors
First I was afraid of God. What if He was serious about all of this and was actually asking ME to accomplish such a great task. I surely did not want to end up on the wrong side of God! (I would often think that well, maybe God had made a mistake, or He thought He was asking someone really smart and talented, or maybe I had misinterpreted the whole thing.)

But then there was another more horrible fear! What if He really was asking ME to do this. I had no idea where to begin. I had no business or production training. Clearly there were hundreds if not thousands of more capable people to do this. If I failed terribly it would be SO humiliating. I was afraid for ME.

And lastly I was afraid of “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK”! People. Their opinions were important to me. I had wonderful friends whom I loved dearly. Would they think I had gone off the deep end? The road was so rough that I simply stalled out. I was too afraid to go forward and yet fearful of disobeying God. I was miserable, stopped dead in my tracks and it seemed for a while that the journey was over before it even got started.


Psalm 55:4, 22
My heart is in anguish within me.
Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Road

Life is a trip. You travel down the road and every now and then an unexpected turn or obstacle or bump changes things. It is not always simple to go from one destination to another. Sometimes the road seems to break down, no longer smooth asphalt but boulders and gullies you had not expected, or you end up on a road you were not prepared for or did not want to take. I know all about such roads. The Amazing Collection: The Bible, Book by Book took us down a road that was sometimes confusing, sometimes frightening, and always challenging. Rarely could we see ahead or around the bend, but it was a road and it led to the “impossible”.

It All Began With Prayer
It was 8:15 AM as six or seven of my women’s ministry team pulled our metal chairs into a circle. We met every Tuesday just before The Women’s Fellowship to pray for the ministry and the needs of the 350 + ladies who attended. By 9:00 it was time to wrap up, and we ended with the final and often repeated prayer, “Lord, help us reach one million women for Your glory and Your Word alone.”

Still I was totally unprepared.

As I sat listening to the Bible teacher later that morning she said “The Word of God” in one of her sentences. They are common words, words that as the Director of Women’s Ministry I would hear several times a week, but for some reason at that moment they took on new meaning. I began to wonder, if these REALLY are THE WORDS OF GOD, why were there books in the Bible I knew so little about? And how come I was more familiar with the current popular Christian books than I was with the book of Habakkuk or Zephaniah? The questions haunted me for weeks.

Eventually I made a radical decision. We would begin to teach our women every book in the Bible in a sequential manner. Within a few months our new program was launched. Ten or more teachers from around the Atlanta area would join us on Tuesday morning and teach one book of the Bible. If the book was particularly long then more weeks would be allotted. It took four years to complete, but in the end though the impact was great, it was not all I had hoped for.

After contemplating how we could improve, I knew we needed a workbook and instead of teachers from all over the Atlanta area, we needed a team who would work together to make the lessons more cohesive. I knew it could be done. I just didn’t know HOW!

Psalm 25:4
Make me know Thy ways, O Lord; teach me Thy paths.


A Jump Start
Sometimes in traveling life stalls. You know you should be heading somewhere, doing something but seem helpless to know what to do next. And then someone comes along and gives a push in the right direction. On October 20, 1999 that help came to me in a most unexpected way.

I was at a leadership conference at Dallas Theological Seminary in Texas. There were many excellent speakers, including our family friend, Bruce Wilkinson. He spied me walking down a hall, and as we stopped to talk he said the most extraordinary thing. “I know that you have been praying for one million women for Christ but you must break through your fear, step out in faith and move forward. If you wait much longer you will be too old! I believe God is telling you to begin now. ”

God Speaks
His words were so powerful and fervent that I truly felt like GOD was speaking to ME. It scared me to death. I knew the only way to reach that many women was through video, and I also knew God was pressing me to help women know every book in the Bible. But the question was, “How could this be accomplished?” Quite truthfully I was terrified at the prospect. I had no expertise, no funding, no clear vision and one hundred reasons why this would be impossible. But after months of anguish and prayer I took a small step. On December 11, 2000 I made telephone call.

By the end of the day I had a prayer team and a teaching team all willing to step out in faith with me into the great unknown. A huge hurdle, an enormous obstacle in the road had been moved. And that was the beginning of a new turn, the destination unsure; the map non-existent.

Luke 4:19
And Jesus said to them, “Follow ME and I will make you fishers of men".