“Oh To See Ourselves As Others See Us”

It is impossible to judge ones self accurately. I can picture in my mind myself as a thirteen year old. In one picture I am on my way to the county fair. I have on my head (I am so ashamed to admit it) a long haired, gray, winter hat (yes HAT, not wig) that I have brushed down to look like hair. I am wearing it in August. I thought I looked adorable. I didn’t.

So I ask myself, where was my mother!!! She was a sensible, wise and good woman who loved me dearly. Surely she could have put a stop to such poor judgment? But I feel certain that she just couldn’t bring herself to tell me I looked ridiculous and so said nothing. I wish she had.

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We had completed the first twelve DVDs. We would force our family members to watch every one of them and they always gave raved reviews. But like my mother, family can not always be trusted to give an accurate opinion.


Though we had talked to a few churches, no church had jumped at the chance to use them for their ladies ministry. In fact, one church had rejected them after viewing the first video because of a theological difference. (They would later embrace the study and incorporate it into their highly successful Women’s Ministry program.)


The truth is we had no idea if the work we had done would resonate with other women. We simply could not judge it accurately. We had begged God to help the women who watched the programs to truly “learn for life” through our teaching. But in order for the student to learn, the teacher must have presented the material in an interesting and understandable way. We just didn’t know if we had accomplished that or not.


Susan Frost was director of the Women’s Ministry at Eastside Baptist Church in Marietta Georgia. She was a friend and knew about what we were trying to do. She took a leap of faith and added The Amazing Collection: The Bible for Women Book By Book to their fall program. And with that we waited.


Waiting is not fun especially when a lot is hanging on the outcome. We had a great deal tied up in the work. Not only a large amount of money been donated and spent but also a tremendous amount of work had gone into the project by forty plus people. Still we had no guarantee that what we had done was “good enough” for women and ministry.


On February 13, 2002 I got a call. The Eastside ladies loved the videos! They were learning so much. And YES they were learning for life.


I am not sure what happens between the confidence of a thirteen year old and the lack of confidence of fifty plus year old but I do know that at thirteen we can think more highly of ourselves then perhaps we ought. But later in life it can be just the opposite. Life has shown us that there are many others who are smarter and better at any given talent and yes, even have more fashion sense then we do! Eleanor, Linda, Margie and I all struggled with trying to see the filmed sessions with clear eyes but we just couldn’t. We would find every flaw and grieve over not doing a better job. At last we had to go to the only source of comfort and help we knew. “Lord, please give us Your power and wisdom to do the best that we can. But where it is not good enough change it and make it so.


These days as I receive words of praise from as far away as the Middle East, England, Scotland, New Zealand and Australia not to mention the many emails of encouragement from the states, we all realize that God heard our prayers. He has literally “cooked the DVDs” in the can” and has helped us produce a tool that greatly impacts women and helps them learn for life about every book in God’s Word. It is His and He has done it.

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The amazing thing was that on that fateful night as a thirteen year old, I met my future husband for the first time. He was fourteen and at the fair with a mutual friend. It is evidence of God’s grace and mercy that I would even be considered to be his wife after such an unfortunate first impression. It is also evidence that it is not our great wisdom that matters but God’s great intervention, kindness, strength and mercy.


Yes, judging oneself accurately is impossible.

Our soul waits for the Lord;

He is our help and our shield.

Our heart shall rejoice in Him,

Because we have trusted in His holy name.

Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,

Just as we hope in You.

Psalm 33:20-22